Resume

I was as surprised as you the other day, when I received the photos from my manager (my uncle) regarding the front-page cover on the magazine and the billboard advertising that followed. Also in these times of crisis it is important to be alert so I therefore decided to update my resume.

Name: Josefine Defne Troelsen

Address: A room in my parents house

Phone: Yes

Fax: What is this?

Email: Of course

Troelsen family, Istanbul

June 2008 - present

In my current position I have the role of only child in a family consisting of my mum and dad. This job requires my present 24x7 and I put all my energy and strength into providing challenging positions to those reporting to me (mum, dad and my nanny). Since the appointment of Sehnaz as my nanny my workload has increased by 50% from handling 2 people full time to now 3 people full time. My employers have of course not provided me with any salary increase or additional benefit dispite of this large increase in my responsibilities.

Main achievements: Can sit without support, can keep parents up all night if I want, ability to clap, wave, cry when hungry/sleepy/bored/want attention. I can also pull hair/glasses and other loose things. Almost crawling.

Minimum package: Full service in terms of food, cloth washing, diaper change when required, personal washing, daily walks, entertainment when bored, new toys on regular basis, my mum when I cry.

Interests: Toys (preferably noisy), being carried, eating, sleeping

References: My grandparents, as they always love me and I cannot do anything wrong according to them.